Tired
by The Cactus
Summary: [Deleted][Repost] Keitaro gets tired of it all... and calls it quits.
1. Tired

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

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Dear Residents,

It has been a memorable two years. It truly has been a most turbulent time for each and every one of us. Throughout these two years, I have felt myself grow… mature… from a boy into a man. At least in my own mind, anyway. Perhaps I may still be a wimp in some of your perceptions, but that's not the point. The point is that all of you have helped me grow, change, adapt… to fit into a tougher situation, one in which I would have had absolutely zero chance of surviving if I had attempted on my own. To this, I give you all my sincere heartfelt gratitude. In all, the times that I have spent in this inn, as a part of you all, shall be forever remembered… but unfortunately, not cherished.

Why? That's because of the harsh, and most certainly unreasonable treatment that I have received during my tenure as the landlord. In these two years, I have periodically been kicked, punched, flung, slashed, cheated and tested upon by you _monsters _for no better reason other than the fact that I was male.It was a variable beyond even my control – after all, who can actually select his gender? Now, if I had indeed done something to deserve such treatment, I would have no complains, and I would readily accept the treatment. Even then, until now, I have accepted the punishments, but I must question, what exactly have I done?

Now, if you girls can recollect, I have helped you all, cared for you all, been there for you all when you people needed someone to lean on. Motoko, remember when your sister challenged us when I was half-crippled and you were weak, all because of your _ridiculous _pride? I helped you - I devoted myself to your cause, fighting for your freedom, your honor. I fought hard, gave it my all that day in Kyoto… just for you. And yet, what have I got in return? Nothing at all, and it would have been fine, oh yes it would, had it not been for the punishments you continued to dish out the moment you recovered fully from your depression. After a _long_ while I started to wonder - exactly what did I fight for that day? It most certainly was _not _your honor. Because if I was, then I feel like a fool, like my effort wasted. For in the end, I realized, _that I fought for something that wasn't there._

I could carry on and list out the times when you all have requested my help, received it, and thanked me with nothing but more pain. However, I wouldn't, because it makes me feel infinitely stupid… it makes me wonder why I spent so much effort on you girls in the first place. And besides, I now know very well, that even though I have helped you, none of you would have helped me if the roles were reversed.

And really, I'm finally tired of all these undeserved punishment. All of my so-called 'perverted tendencies' have been nothing more than mere accidents or tricks pulled by Kitsune. And that reminds me to ask this - how blind, really, are you people to not have noticed Kitsune's tricks? Honestly, I cannot believe how many times Kitsune saying that I came unto her and molested her had tricked you all. Really, even if at the start I did molest her (which I didn't), surely after some time I would have caught on and known not to do it again? Apparently, you people think that all males are full of raging hormones, unable to be controlled. Or maybe, the satisfaction of thoroughly beating the lights put of an innocent person gives you monsters a high.

To Naru… I once loved you. Unfortunately, it appears that after a prolonged period of this torturous treatment the love is… lost. Evaporated into thin air. Literally beaten out of me. Now I no longer hold any feelings for you, which I suppose will make you happy. Finally free of a pervert huh? It lightens me as well… although I wouldn't like to think about why. But now, I must question - why do you always prevent me from going out with other girls, like Mutsumi, if you truly have no interest in me?

Even if I had wanted to molest Mutsumi at any point, which I never even thought about, I'm sure she would have given in willingly… offered herself, even.

_And you know it. _

Still, you were too proud to admit it. You knew that I liked you, so you used my delusion as leverage, leaving me hanging, restricting me. You cannot possibly know how much leaving me in the dark tortured me! All those times I wondered if I was too inferior for you. Now I know. You wanted to see me crawl, grovel in front of you, pining for you until you were ready to accept my love. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid my patience has run out. Its really time for me to put it down and move on.

To dear Shinobu, there is only one thing I can say. You are a good person. Don't allow the people around you, and this letter, to affect you, to change you. Please get over your crush on me, and find a better man than a loser like me someday. Find someone who wouldn't waste 17 years of his life pining for someone who didn't exist.

I must apologize now, for I do realize that I have been rather crude, and all of you must be wondering about the point of this letter other than venting out my frustrations. Well, I have decided to quit this meaningless job, since after so long you girls would obviously still prefer a member of the fairer sex as the manager of this inn. Attached you would find the title deed, which has been blanked for the next owner.

Lastly, I want to say that even though we are parting, we are parting on good terms. (At least from my side.)

May we never meet again.

Sincerely,

Keitaro Urashima


	2. Lost

Hello. It's me again.

Allow me to tell you a story.

_My story._

Once, I was the manager of an all-girls dormitory. Once, I was happy.

_Not anymore._

Why? You ask.

Well… a combination of many factors contributed my unhappiness. One is that I failed the Tokyo University entrance exams _thrice, _and that isn't very easy to swallow.Two, I knew that I had let my promise girl, whoever she was, down. She may have been waiting for me, or she may have long since moved on. All I know is that I let her down by failing her, failing to keep my precious promise; by never entering the University we had both sworn to enter. Third, I was angry at how immensely foolish I was during my time as the manager of an all-girls dormitory….

And that makes up the rest of my list. My time there… was horrible, to say the least.

While I was there, I was punched, kicked, thrown, slashed, at regular intervals, but that isn't the point… it never was the point. What I was angry about …was that I didn't mind the pain, was wiling to take the punishment… as along as _they _were happy. Still the worst part was when they began to think I didn't have emotions. My physical body may have been nigh indestructible, but that didn't mean that my feelings couldn't be crushed. I cared for them all, helped them when they were down, even though I knew that I would never get anything in return. I exposed myself to them, left myself vulnerable, something that I regret to this day. The girls took advantage of my nature - they forced me to do things I… didn't like, but I did them just for the sake of making them happy.

Maybe none of this would have happened… if only I had not been the naïve and foolish boy I once was. If only I didn't have the rose tinted view of the world I once had…

Nevertheless, the girls hurt me. Not a day passed where I was not insulted or manhandled… I was called a pervert, lecher, and liar, amongst various other things and thrown through walls or socked clear through the roof. I bore with it, thinking that someday they would come to accept me for who I am, and not judge me based on my natural clumsiness… or my gender. For a year and a half I remained sanguine, but eventually even I grew disheartened. A big blow came when I helped one Motoko Aoyoma through the harshest crisis of her life, and was promptly brushed off by her once she recovered. Perhaps the biggest blow was when I realized that she still saw me as nothing more than a pervert, waiting to peep on or cop a view of _them._

A part of me seemed to die as I came to that realization, and that was also when I finally… finally realized that what I was doing was futile. They would never accept me.

_Ever._

Still, I harbored hope, because at this point in time, I was still in love with a woman… no, _girl, _named Naru Narusegawa. It was practically love at first sight, since I was smitten ever since I laid eyes on her. Unfortunately, we didn't exactly get off to a very good start. The first time we met, she ended up grabbing my 'equipment', and the result… wasn't pretty. However, I fell in love with her, and I hazarded a guess that underneath her tough exterior she _had _to have a soft side, which was first displayed to me while we were holidaying in Kyoto as complete strangers… oh, I knew who she was, but I guess she didn't catch on until some time later. Perhaps this made her bitter towards me… made her feel that that I had lied to her.

But I didn't mean that at all! All I wanted was to spend sometime with her without flying into orbit…

In hindsight, maybe my not telling her was an error on my part.

Anyway, our relationship never got anything beyond one sided. My side. Duh.

She didn't care to tell me she wasn't interested though. She kept me in the dark, and I could tell she wasn't bothered by it. But how it tortured me! Maybe it was some kind of sick joke on her part. Maybe she even felt happy that I was feeling tortured! Anyway, I harbored hope that my love was finally returned, one memorable day on the rooftop when she kissed me. However, after it happened she never commented on it, and I was again left hanging, again left grasping at straws. Eventually, after a very, very long time… another part of me started to feel like it was dying… and my heart started to grow cold. My flicker of hope - for staying on - was becoming ever smaller…

And that brings me to another girl, named Mitsune Konno. Out of all three women, she was perhaps the one who hurt me the least. But that's only because she didn't hurt me in the literal sense of the word. However, she did cause me hurt when she constantly played devious tricks on me that brought about violent reactions by either Naru or Motoko, sometimes both. She never really needed my help, but whenever she was short of money she would come on to me, play with my feelings… before threatening to tell Naru and Motoko. I would always give her the money, not because I feared the punishment, but because I couldn't bring myself to refuse her. However, she almost always told Naru and Motoko anyway, and I was almost always sent to orbit on accounts of molestation… all in the name of her 'fun'.

She hurt me… by treating me as an object, as a bank, and she gave me no respect.

_I could feel it. _

And with that, my flicker of hope blew out.

Throughout my stay in the dormitory, the only one who ever cared and loved me in the same way I loved them, was kind, caring Shinobu. We were so similar, and yet so different at the same time. We both had practically nowhere to go, and in the end, she was the one who had kept me going for as long as I had, because I felt obliged to stay on for her. I knew about her passive crush on me... And I knew what she would feel if I had just packed up and left one day. I'm sure that I would have given up earlier if she had not been there for me…

But my hope had died. I was tired.

So one day, I packed up and left… leaving behind only a letter venting my frustrations.

As I left, I vowed never to return here again…

But now, two years later, I'm once again back at the bottom of the stone steps, looking up at the dormitory as I had so many times in the past when I returned after being knocked to some faraway place by either Naru or Motoko. In the end, I couldn't forget about them. They haunted my dreams… made me wonder how they were after I left. I realized that I still cared for them… that I still loved them, and I couldn't run away from it.

In the end, I had forgiven them…

But have they forgiven me?

_**End**_

Author notes: The last sentence means Keitaro's questioning whether the girls have forgiven him for just upping and leaving. It doesn't have any hidden meanings; so don't read too much into it. And yes, the story has ended. If you want something good about the girls and Keitaro reuniting after a long time separated, read a story by 'Little Tart' named… er, I forgot. I can't find his account either. But it's truly brilliant, I tell you.

To absolute: Yeah, this story is indeed a fan forcing Keitaro to get pissed and split, since Keitaro wouldn't do it without some prodding. However, I feel that that is how Keitaro's character would have been if he split. Also, even though he rants at them doesn't mean they can't part on good terms, since Keitaro cannot, and can never, ever hold a grudge. By the way, how is it contradictory that they are not 'cherished memories'? After all, he isn't very happy that he gets punched and kicked everyday. Lastly, why do you say that Keitaro is a more perceptive individual in this story? How difficult is it to notice that you being punched and kicked every day and the one person you help in their darkest hour turns and kicks the crap out of you?

Finally, the girls' reaction to the letter is up to your imagination! (Or maybe I'm just too lazy to write it)

**AND NIVREMOUS IS BACK! WHEEEEEEEEE!**

**Revision: TornadoReviewer… the question I asked was already answered when this story was first posted… The answer is simply that the Keitaro has forgiven them after the time spent away from them. Read the third last paragraph. Please.**

**Absolute: The movement can't be shown, because it's impossible. As we all know, Keitaro doesn't wise up and leave in the canon storyline, so I can't actually begin to show his change without it looking like a 'fan forced him to wise up to reality', you get what I mean?**


End file.
